loss, grief and celebration

 
funeral ribbon

We have had a bit of upset here in the novamade household, Special K and I both lost are grandmothers on December 11th and 10th (respectively), so please to forgive the lack of dazzlement of late.  I find writing about death and loss and grief-y things to be depressing; and, as a general rule, I try to practice a certain amount of avoidance, to be honest...but then there are no blog updates and that, too, is sad.  So yes, both of our grandmothers passed away, and it was sad; but, they led full and meaningful lives, and; both of them lived and loved much--and were loved in return.  We will miss them, especially around the holidays.

 
During the course of attending the funeral services for our grandmothers in Flushing, New York and Dodge City, Kansas, I had an opportunity to think about a few things, deep thoughts, if you will:

• funerals, like weddings, are good for reunionizing (it just isn't such a happy occasion);
• any trip that requires more than 15 hours of driving should become a trip by plane;
• I really need to learn to speak some Korean, even just a little bit, I couldn't understand a single word at my grandmother's funeral service;
• death is really hard to explain to a three year old child;
• there is a lot of hay in Kansas;
• while death is incomprehensible to children and especially to babies, it helps to have a few handy at funerals, they tend to make people smile.

Little Sir and Little Mister were clueless about our Family Funeral Tour (we just called it a road trip to see family, they are 3 and 1, so yeah, good enough), which is what we took to calling the 50+ hours we spent on the road last week; but, they fulfilled their roles of morale ambassadors with great aplomb.  They both deserve medals, or nifty prizes.  It's a good thing Christmas is coming...any day now.

 
While little Sir was cute, his articulateness was trying on occasion due to his tremendous inquisitiveness.  A three year old asking why his grandmother looks like she's sleeping or how she died or why she died is not, no matter how you spin it, cute.  But a baby who keeps laughing and smiling despite all the tragedy and melodrama that surrounds death, well, that's cute.  You can't begrudge a baby, his laughter.  Well, you could, but don't do it in public, Scrooge.

 
Since Little Mister was "the Bringer of Smiles" last week, I figure he can bring some more here (Little Sir will have his own smile-bringing later, we have to be fair in these things).  Let's have a contest, celebration, or whatever you want to call it.  This (big) little guy is on the verge of walking, or rather, taking his first steps. 

 
He can balance himself in standing position for all of four seconds and he can stand up on his own.  He can cruise (walk while holding on to a hand or furniture) like a champion and he is pretty sturdy (shocker).  He weighs a good 28-29 pounds and is probably around 26 or 27 inches (don't quote me on this, because I was too busy trying to make sure he didn't roll off the table while the nurse was measuring him at his 12-month well-baby check-up at the beginning of the month).

When do you think he will take his first independent steps?

This is a fun little celebratory contest that can involve as much or as little work as you want to put into it.  I have given you numbers and measurements for calculations,  if you are into that sort of thing; or, you can just throw a date out there.  For those who are wondering, Little Sir took his first steps at around 15 months old, but his mobility was more delayed (his verbal skills, not so much.  These characteristics are reversed for Little Mister).

Send a date in your comment ( for instance 12/21) to this post (and this post only!), in the spirit of Christmas, let's say each person can have three guesses (each guess should be it's own comment though--that's one comment submitted for each guess, please, that'll make it easier for me to check the dates).  If you send more than three, only the first three will be considered.  The person(s) who picks the actual date or the date closest to Little Mister's first independent steps will get a guesser's prize.  You can pick what you want:  I will buy you a skein (or a pair of socks worth--I will give you a list of stores) of yarn; I can spin you a skein of handspun (color(s) your choice--fiber from my shoppe or something from my stash depending on what you want); or, you can select a yard's worth of fabric (probably from Sew, Mama, Sew) you can pick quarters to a full yard cut).  Or, if you want me to sew you a box bag ortote, I can do that too. Pretty sweet, huh?

I will take comments for this contest until the day the Little Dude walks on his own.  The astute commenter might consider spreading out his or her guesses...or not, totally up to you.  I will give updates on his walking progress (those updates will likely be more regular in flickr than on the blog, take note)..unless, of course, he starts walking tomorrow, it would be more of a report than an update, wouldn't it?

Ain't we got fun?

Comments

[Sarah R]

Hmmm...first guess? I think 12/25. Someone's going to see presents on the other side of the room and take off like a shot.

Well, it's a chance.

[Sarah R]

And how rude of me not to say that I'm very sorry for your loss...and that of your husband. Even when someone has lived a long, happy, eventful life...it's hard to lose them.

[Vicki]

I'm so sorry! I remember the relief my little Maddy provided at the funeral of a great aunt... I know of which you speak!

My guess? 12/24. Hugs.

[jill]

Bless your family. Loss of any kind is difficult. Bully for you for traveling with those two little men in the back seat.
My guess 1/4/10

[Anne]

I'm gonna guess my birthday, because I think LM wants me to have a present. 12/29 FTW!

[Nic]

I am sorry to hear of both of your losses, but I am glad there is solace in lives well lived.

I am going to go with a new skill for the new year, with LM taking his first steps on 1/1/10.

[Mandy]

Sorry about the grandmas.

My guess is 1/15/2010

[Grace]

So sorry to hear about the grandmothers passing away.

My guess is for 1/2/10 for the first steps!

I am not sure if you know about this already...but there are some podcasts for learning Korean in iTunes (I use Learn Korean-KoreanClass101.com) that are helpful if you have a basic (I am about at a kindergardener's level) of understanding. There are others, but I found this one to be the most enjoyable. Otherwise, I have heard that Rosetta Stone to be the best (albeit pricy) language program other than taking a class. Good luck!

[grumperina]

That's a pretty sweet contest! Throw out some numbers, you might win a prize - I like it! So, here's my first guess - January 10th. Hope you're ready!

[T Secor]

I am going to take full advantage for 3 guesses

#1- 1/15/2010

[T Secor]

#2- 2/12/2010

[T Secor]

#3- 3/29/2010

I'm sorry for your grief. I think that it might be pale to hear, after all the repetition of condolences and coming from someone you don't even know. But I mean it just the same.

[Chancy]

Oh no, I'm so sorry for both of your losses. I'm going to (#1) guess 12/25/2009.

[Chancy]

Guess #2:
12/31/2009

[Alli]

Guess 1: 12/25

[Alli]

Guess 2: 12/31

[Heather]

Oh gosh, I am really sorry about your double loss, Nova. Glad that the little tiny kidlets could offer some relief and levity.

I am also thrilled to tell you that our tiny pal will take his first steps on my birthday--January 14th:)

[lori]

I'm so sorry to hear about the losses you've gone through in such a short time. And all that driving. I'm glad you had some distraction in all of it though.

I'm going to guess 12/28

[Cindy]

So sorry for the loss of your grandmothers...

My first guess: 12/31/09

[Cindy]

Guess #2: 1/6/10

[Cindy]

Guess #3: 1/15/10

[brandy]

guess # 1 : 1/3

[brandy]

1/17

[brandy]

guess # 3: 2/4

[Kim]

Sorry for your last-minute trip - but it sounds like it turned out well - family bonding and all.

Guess #1: 1/5